Saturday, September 5, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Hang in there, camel
Last week I dragged my girlfriends to Powerbooks since I wanted to check out their annual sale. Whilst browsing the titles in the World Affairs section, M walks up to me, a book called Kokology in hand. Consulting the book in question, she says, Answer this for me, will you? You are riding a camel in the desert. You really feel tired and exhausted. What will you say to the camel who has been with you all throughout your journey in the desert?
I thought about the question for a good few seconds (and in my mind it evoked an image of me on a camel whilst I was patting the weary beast reassuringly) and I told M - Hmm I guess I'd say something like 'Hang in there, camel'.
She then gives me an analysis of my answer: The desert and camel theme symbolises the journey toward personal independence. Specifically, this scenario reveals your feelings about parting with a lover. Your answers show how you might react when the time comes to go your separate ways.
Whilst I realise that these Kokology stuff are in no way a reliable gauge of emotional intelligence, my answer still left me immensely pleased with myself. Who would've thought that beneath this thick cloak of negative vibes lay hidden a positive and optimistic person?! I'm very much surprised at how I can still afford to say things along the lines of Hang in there, camel despite being in this state of protracted limbo that has left me so directionless and, well, unsure. Nevermind if the analysis mostly pertained to romantic affairs; I believe it is relevant and translatable to other life situations as well.
I have nothing else left in my emotional arsenal but a healthy quantity of good thoughts that scream tomorrow will be better, and comfort in the knowledge that my present struggles will somehow romanticise my upgraded future.
I read this line off someone's blog and to this day it keeps ringing in my head: The trick is to keep going. Touché times 100.
I thought about the question for a good few seconds (and in my mind it evoked an image of me on a camel whilst I was patting the weary beast reassuringly) and I told M - Hmm I guess I'd say something like 'Hang in there, camel'.
She then gives me an analysis of my answer: The desert and camel theme symbolises the journey toward personal independence. Specifically, this scenario reveals your feelings about parting with a lover. Your answers show how you might react when the time comes to go your separate ways.
Whilst I realise that these Kokology stuff are in no way a reliable gauge of emotional intelligence, my answer still left me immensely pleased with myself. Who would've thought that beneath this thick cloak of negative vibes lay hidden a positive and optimistic person?! I'm very much surprised at how I can still afford to say things along the lines of Hang in there, camel despite being in this state of protracted limbo that has left me so directionless and, well, unsure. Nevermind if the analysis mostly pertained to romantic affairs; I believe it is relevant and translatable to other life situations as well.
I have nothing else left in my emotional arsenal but a healthy quantity of good thoughts that scream tomorrow will be better, and comfort in the knowledge that my present struggles will somehow romanticise my upgraded future.
I read this line off someone's blog and to this day it keeps ringing in my head: The trick is to keep going. Touché times 100.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Itchy feet and impulsive travel plans
I just booked a Taiwan trip for early December. It took me a mere five minutes to make up my mind as the ticket only cost me peanuts (promo fares ftw!). I figure this will be my birthday present to myself this year. I am super extremely stoked that I have spent the whole evening looking for accommodation, reading Taiwan-related threads in travel forums and googling the addresses of Muji and Kinokuniya shops in Taipei. This early I have drawn up a budget and I will make sure I strictly abide by it. I really intend to make this one of my cheapest trips evarr.
What makes this trip even sweeter is that Filipinos can now enjoy visa-free travel to Taiwan provided you are a permanent resident of or a holder of a valid visa from the US, Canada, Japan, Australia, New Zealand or any of the Schengen countries. Visa fees have already been waived.
I've decided to go alone again this time. Since my Thailand trip last year I have grown hooked on travelling solo. I am also quite excited to experience chilly weather and use my winter clothes again.
What makes this trip even sweeter is that Filipinos can now enjoy visa-free travel to Taiwan provided you are a permanent resident of or a holder of a valid visa from the US, Canada, Japan, Australia, New Zealand or any of the Schengen countries. Visa fees have already been waived.
I've decided to go alone again this time. Since my Thailand trip last year I have grown hooked on travelling solo. I am also quite excited to experience chilly weather and use my winter clothes again.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
A mid-year assessment
Significant events that happened in the past six months:
- C's Manila visit in January
- Boracay vacay with C
- Hong Kong and Macau trip in February/March (hung out with the B's!)
- My barely two-month stint at an international development firm (March - May)
- Being sidelined by illness for a month
- Writing a substandard essay that managed to win something
New music listened to:
HEAPS. I try to listen to at least 2-3 new indie groups on a weekly basis. I am thisclose to maxing out the memory of my Music drive due to extremely active downloading. Preferred genres at the moment are shoegaze, indietronica and a good measure of rock and alternative still.
Good movies watched:
In the vicinity of 10-15. Off the top of my head the ones that really delivered/made an impact were: The Double Life of Veronique, My Blueberry Nights, Sideways, The Royal Tenenbaums, Two Lovers, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Edward Scissorhands (re-watched recently). I download movies regularly and there's still quite a few unviewed films in the queue.
Books read:
Still stuck with the same book (Eat, Pray, Love) for months now! What a massive shame. Re-read bits of Murakami's South of the Border, West of the Sun. Unsuccessfully tried to finish The Fountainhead for the 50th time. Staring at my bookshelf now and there are a multitude of titles calling out to me and I really gotta do something about it. My collection has gotten out of hand and to date I already own a heinous amount of books. My whole lifetime will probably not be enough to finish reading all of these.
Friends made:
A good handful.
Alcohol consumed:
An indeterminate amount, but considerably lower compared to alcohol consumption levels during January-June 2008.
Lessons learnt:
- Remove blinders. Not all that glitters is gold.
- Familiarity really does breed contempt.
- Money can never ever buy fulfillment.
- We reach a certain stage in life when it really isn't cool anymore to become embroiled in Melrose Place drama. I realised this at 26.
- Be thankful for what you've got, because you really do have it good.
- Emo is so last season. Always best to surround yourself with good vibes and happy people.
- Life is too short for mediocre music, books and films and so I have to be extra discerning with how I spend my time when it comes to these things (but of course we still need the occasional tacky song or very badly-made movie to have unbridled fun...ahhh...guilty pleasures).
- C's Manila visit in January
- Boracay vacay with C
- Hong Kong and Macau trip in February/March (hung out with the B's!)
- My barely two-month stint at an international development firm (March - May)
- Being sidelined by illness for a month
- Writing a substandard essay that managed to win something
New music listened to:
HEAPS. I try to listen to at least 2-3 new indie groups on a weekly basis. I am thisclose to maxing out the memory of my Music drive due to extremely active downloading. Preferred genres at the moment are shoegaze, indietronica and a good measure of rock and alternative still.
Good movies watched:
In the vicinity of 10-15. Off the top of my head the ones that really delivered/made an impact were: The Double Life of Veronique, My Blueberry Nights, Sideways, The Royal Tenenbaums, Two Lovers, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Edward Scissorhands (re-watched recently). I download movies regularly and there's still quite a few unviewed films in the queue.
Books read:
Still stuck with the same book (Eat, Pray, Love) for months now! What a massive shame. Re-read bits of Murakami's South of the Border, West of the Sun. Unsuccessfully tried to finish The Fountainhead for the 50th time. Staring at my bookshelf now and there are a multitude of titles calling out to me and I really gotta do something about it. My collection has gotten out of hand and to date I already own a heinous amount of books. My whole lifetime will probably not be enough to finish reading all of these.
Friends made:
A good handful.
Alcohol consumed:
An indeterminate amount, but considerably lower compared to alcohol consumption levels during January-June 2008.
Lessons learnt:
- Remove blinders. Not all that glitters is gold.
- Familiarity really does breed contempt.
- Money can never ever buy fulfillment.
- We reach a certain stage in life when it really isn't cool anymore to become embroiled in Melrose Place drama. I realised this at 26.
- Be thankful for what you've got, because you really do have it good.
- Emo is so last season. Always best to surround yourself with good vibes and happy people.
- Life is too short for mediocre music, books and films and so I have to be extra discerning with how I spend my time when it comes to these things (but of course we still need the occasional tacky song or very badly-made movie to have unbridled fun...ahhh...guilty pleasures).
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Timing fail
Months ago I was alerted by a friend to a job opening at a leading policy think tank. It was a short-term researcher position in the field of governance, and the job description explicitly stated that the role would involve frequent travel. I immediately handed in my cv, writing samples and references because I thought the job was heaps awesome.
I didn't hear from them for a long while and so I readily assumed they just weren't interested. Tonight however, I received an SMS from the Executive Director asking if I am still available for a "short-term (30-day) full-time research work which could parlay into something longer term". Sigh. This offer couldn't have come at a worse time - not when I just committed to another research job that might possibly start next month.
It just sucks exceedingly that I would have to pass up on this opportunity, seeing as the position would have been a fantastic springboard for a career in research and policy work. Also, virtually ANY job which involves a good deal of travelling is difficult to pass up. This think tank is also a highly reputable one and the Executive Director is a man I hold in great esteem (I know him from my government stint years ago), which made it all the more hard for me to text back and let them know that I was turning down the offer. Had they only contacted me last month I would've been able to accept the job, but alas, I was never one to be favoured by timing.
Anyway, that's a lost battle now and all I can do is just move forward and prep myself for the upcoming chapter in my volatile working life. Besides, I realise that accepting the offer would've sidetracked me slightly as it focusses on a different area of research. When I think about it, the new job (the one that starts next month) does sound like an excellent deal after all as it is really in line with my background and career goals. Another thing - I think ultimately it is really what I want to do in life, and surely that should count for something, shouldn't it?
I should really just suck it up and be thankful.
I didn't hear from them for a long while and so I readily assumed they just weren't interested. Tonight however, I received an SMS from the Executive Director asking if I am still available for a "short-term (30-day) full-time research work which could parlay into something longer term". Sigh. This offer couldn't have come at a worse time - not when I just committed to another research job that might possibly start next month.
It just sucks exceedingly that I would have to pass up on this opportunity, seeing as the position would have been a fantastic springboard for a career in research and policy work. Also, virtually ANY job which involves a good deal of travelling is difficult to pass up. This think tank is also a highly reputable one and the Executive Director is a man I hold in great esteem (I know him from my government stint years ago), which made it all the more hard for me to text back and let them know that I was turning down the offer. Had they only contacted me last month I would've been able to accept the job, but alas, I was never one to be favoured by timing.
Anyway, that's a lost battle now and all I can do is just move forward and prep myself for the upcoming chapter in my volatile working life. Besides, I realise that accepting the offer would've sidetracked me slightly as it focusses on a different area of research. When I think about it, the new job (the one that starts next month) does sound like an excellent deal after all as it is really in line with my background and career goals. Another thing - I think ultimately it is really what I want to do in life, and surely that should count for something, shouldn't it?
I should really just suck it up and be thankful.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Seulement je peux vous dire que j’ai senti en même temps la joie et la tristesse. Mais pas trop de tristesse. Parce que je me sentais vivante.
Tonight I just saw Paris Je T'aime, a movie comprised of 18 short films shot in the different arrondissements of the city of Paris. The film has received mixed reviews, although I personally thought it was a gorgeous piece of cinema. Not all 18 shorts are impressive though, but a good handful of them are quite outstanding. The Feist song (We're All in the Dance) played at the end credits was lovely.
Incidentally, some of my favourite segments from the movie were also directed by my favourite filmmakers (Tykwer, Payne and Van Sant).
1. Faubourg Saint-Denis by Tom Tykwer. This short blew me away so much that it is still rolling around my head as we speak. I have very deep respect for Tykwer and his genius. I remember back in college I bailed on my niece's (she also happens to be my goddaughter) birthday party to attend a Tom Tykwer Movie Marathon. I ended up watching Run Lola Run, Wintersleepers and The Princess and the Warrior all in a single day, but I did not ever regret it. I have also had the fortune of seeing Heaven which was based on a Kieslowski screenplay and starred Cate Blanchett and Giovanni Ribisi.
Anyway, Tykwer has this to say about this short: "[It] symbolises an entire life for me, in just ten minutes." Natalie Portman turned in a good performance in this one. Up to now I am still pondering what to make of the last scene when the guy goes No, I see you. Yes, a seven-minute film has officially left a dent in me and shook my soul.
2. 14e arrondissement by Alexander Payne. Payne just changed my life last week with Sideways. With this short, he has clearly outdone himself.
The segment is about a middle-aged American lady travelling by herself for the first time in Europe and in her heavily-accented French (she is learning French and reciting this story in her French class), she delivers a soliloquy on Paris and living her life alone. The last scene where she experiences an epiphany whilst sitting on a park bench stirred me in a way no other film has before. It reminded me so much of how I, on countless occasions, also found myself seated on some random public bench overseas whilst munching on a sandwich and contemplating life - alone. The lady's words gripped me:
Sitting there, alone in a foreign country, far from my job and everyone I know, a feeling came over me. It was like remembering something I’d never known before or had always been waiting for, but I didn’t know what. Maybe it was something I’d forgotten or something I’ve been missing all my life. All I can say is that I felt, at the same time, joy and sadness. But not too much sadness, because I felt alive. Yes, alive.
3. Tour Eiffel by French animator Sylvain Chomet. Lighthearted and fun. A young boy talks about how his mime parents met at a prison. The ending is precious.
4. Quais de Seine by Paul Mayeda Berges and Gurinder Chadha. I liked this bit because of its high school charm. There's not much to the short really, but the leads were cute and I've always had a thing for high school-ish romances.
5. Le Marais by Gus Van Sant. Gaspard Ulliel stars in this segment. He tries to convince this taciturn boy that they might be soulmates, but in the end it is revealed that the boy speaks no French and thus did not understand his entire speech.
6. Pere-Lachaise by Wes Craven. Set in a cemetery, the ghost of Oscar Wilde (Alexander Payne in a cameo) appears to Rufus Sewell and gives him advice on how to win back Emily Mortimer.
7. Bastille by Isabel Coixet. A man who is about to leave his wife (Miranda Richardson) for a much younger woman (Leonor Watling) rekindles his love for her after he discovers she is afflicted with a terminal disease. This story is extremely similar to a Facebook story I read recently.
Incidentally, some of my favourite segments from the movie were also directed by my favourite filmmakers (Tykwer, Payne and Van Sant).
1. Faubourg Saint-Denis by Tom Tykwer. This short blew me away so much that it is still rolling around my head as we speak. I have very deep respect for Tykwer and his genius. I remember back in college I bailed on my niece's (she also happens to be my goddaughter) birthday party to attend a Tom Tykwer Movie Marathon. I ended up watching Run Lola Run, Wintersleepers and The Princess and the Warrior all in a single day, but I did not ever regret it. I have also had the fortune of seeing Heaven which was based on a Kieslowski screenplay and starred Cate Blanchett and Giovanni Ribisi.
Anyway, Tykwer has this to say about this short: "[It] symbolises an entire life for me, in just ten minutes." Natalie Portman turned in a good performance in this one. Up to now I am still pondering what to make of the last scene when the guy goes No, I see you. Yes, a seven-minute film has officially left a dent in me and shook my soul.
2. 14e arrondissement by Alexander Payne. Payne just changed my life last week with Sideways. With this short, he has clearly outdone himself.
The segment is about a middle-aged American lady travelling by herself for the first time in Europe and in her heavily-accented French (she is learning French and reciting this story in her French class), she delivers a soliloquy on Paris and living her life alone. The last scene where she experiences an epiphany whilst sitting on a park bench stirred me in a way no other film has before. It reminded me so much of how I, on countless occasions, also found myself seated on some random public bench overseas whilst munching on a sandwich and contemplating life - alone. The lady's words gripped me:
Sitting there, alone in a foreign country, far from my job and everyone I know, a feeling came over me. It was like remembering something I’d never known before or had always been waiting for, but I didn’t know what. Maybe it was something I’d forgotten or something I’ve been missing all my life. All I can say is that I felt, at the same time, joy and sadness. But not too much sadness, because I felt alive. Yes, alive.
3. Tour Eiffel by French animator Sylvain Chomet. Lighthearted and fun. A young boy talks about how his mime parents met at a prison. The ending is precious.
4. Quais de Seine by Paul Mayeda Berges and Gurinder Chadha. I liked this bit because of its high school charm. There's not much to the short really, but the leads were cute and I've always had a thing for high school-ish romances.
5. Le Marais by Gus Van Sant. Gaspard Ulliel stars in this segment. He tries to convince this taciturn boy that they might be soulmates, but in the end it is revealed that the boy speaks no French and thus did not understand his entire speech.
6. Pere-Lachaise by Wes Craven. Set in a cemetery, the ghost of Oscar Wilde (Alexander Payne in a cameo) appears to Rufus Sewell and gives him advice on how to win back Emily Mortimer.
7. Bastille by Isabel Coixet. A man who is about to leave his wife (Miranda Richardson) for a much younger woman (Leonor Watling) rekindles his love for her after he discovers she is afflicted with a terminal disease. This story is extremely similar to a Facebook story I read recently.
Monday, June 22, 2009
A very general update
Listening to:
- Charmparticles' Alive in the Hot Spell
- Cocteau Twins' Heaven or Las Vegas
- The Very Best of the Smiths
- Andrew Bird's Complete Discography
- The New Pornographers' Electric Version
- Still cannot get enough of Death Cab's Cath... (This song is a drug - I really do have to listen to it daily)
Went to:
This year's Fete dela Musique. Not too many new musical discoveries, except for a couple of decent electronica acts. At least this year I was able to establish that my musical preferences have indeed evolved and I am now leaning more towards electronic music (I really wasn't paying much attention to the music coming from the alternative stage that night). I realise I am also reverting to my dream pop/shoegaze/space rock phase - been listening heavily to Asobi Seksu, Cocteau Twins, Azure Ray, School of Seven Bells, Charmparticles and The Pains of Being Pure at Heart recently.
Reading:
Still finishing Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love. The book is divided into three sections - Italy, India and Indonesia. I hope to organise a trip to India in the short term so I can be able to fully relate to Gilbert's travel experiences.
Recently viewed movies:
- Sideways: Loved every second of it. I've decided I want to be a wine connoisseur like Paul Giamatti's character - I have always been fascinated with wines anyway. I hold very fond memories of wine and it has truly played an integral role in making many of my overseas trips very awesome. I love how the flavours dance in my mouth and how I get a more refined kind of buzz with it (whilst I always end up talking like a truck driver with beer). Now I'm seriously bent on enrolling myself in a Wine Appreciation class, nevermind if it will set me back by a fair bit of money (it is for a very good cause anyway). The day trip to the Hunter Valley two years ago did teach me a number of vital lessons on wine-tasting and wine-making but I'd really like to be able to identify the different varieties and deconstruct the ingredients as expertly as Paul Giamatti and Virginia Madsen in the movie. Sigh...would really give anything to be in Napa Valley or Bordeaux at the moment.
- Love in the Time of Cholera: Javier Bardem is king. I enjoyed his performances immensely in No Country for Old Men and Mar Adentro, and he was equally brilliant in this one as well. I must admit though that I did get slightly confused since they suddenly changed actors for the Florentino Ariza character mid-movie (the younger Florentino was heaps more gorgeous than Javier Bardem, thus the slight confusion).
- The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: Poetic and deeply stirring. It was a veritable visual feast from beginning to end. Incidentally, Julian Schnabel has an ongoing exhibit at the National Museum and I will not be able to forgive myself if I miss it.
- Say Anything & Pretty in Pink: They seriously do not make rom-coms like they used to anymore.
Downloading these other films as well:
- Vicky Cristina Barcelona
- Synecdoche, New York
Very stoked to:
- See the temples of Borobodur.
- Meet Sec-Gen Pitsuwan. I really do have to stop being a massive slug and start doing some serious reading soon, lest he find me horrendously dumb and uninformed and we will be reduced to talking about the weather.
- Get away. By myself.
- Reconnect with Indo friends.
- Attend my friend's wedding. My roommie will also be in town for a 10-day vacay.
- Start my new job. Not at liberty to discuss details yet, but am really keeping fingers crossed on this one.
- Charmparticles' Alive in the Hot Spell
- Cocteau Twins' Heaven or Las Vegas
- The Very Best of the Smiths
- Andrew Bird's Complete Discography
- The New Pornographers' Electric Version
- Still cannot get enough of Death Cab's Cath... (This song is a drug - I really do have to listen to it daily)
Went to:
This year's Fete dela Musique. Not too many new musical discoveries, except for a couple of decent electronica acts. At least this year I was able to establish that my musical preferences have indeed evolved and I am now leaning more towards electronic music (I really wasn't paying much attention to the music coming from the alternative stage that night). I realise I am also reverting to my dream pop/shoegaze/space rock phase - been listening heavily to Asobi Seksu, Cocteau Twins, Azure Ray, School of Seven Bells, Charmparticles and The Pains of Being Pure at Heart recently.
Reading:
Still finishing Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love. The book is divided into three sections - Italy, India and Indonesia. I hope to organise a trip to India in the short term so I can be able to fully relate to Gilbert's travel experiences.
Recently viewed movies:
- Sideways: Loved every second of it. I've decided I want to be a wine connoisseur like Paul Giamatti's character - I have always been fascinated with wines anyway. I hold very fond memories of wine and it has truly played an integral role in making many of my overseas trips very awesome. I love how the flavours dance in my mouth and how I get a more refined kind of buzz with it (whilst I always end up talking like a truck driver with beer). Now I'm seriously bent on enrolling myself in a Wine Appreciation class, nevermind if it will set me back by a fair bit of money (it is for a very good cause anyway). The day trip to the Hunter Valley two years ago did teach me a number of vital lessons on wine-tasting and wine-making but I'd really like to be able to identify the different varieties and deconstruct the ingredients as expertly as Paul Giamatti and Virginia Madsen in the movie. Sigh...would really give anything to be in Napa Valley or Bordeaux at the moment.
- Love in the Time of Cholera: Javier Bardem is king. I enjoyed his performances immensely in No Country for Old Men and Mar Adentro, and he was equally brilliant in this one as well. I must admit though that I did get slightly confused since they suddenly changed actors for the Florentino Ariza character mid-movie (the younger Florentino was heaps more gorgeous than Javier Bardem, thus the slight confusion).
- The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: Poetic and deeply stirring. It was a veritable visual feast from beginning to end. Incidentally, Julian Schnabel has an ongoing exhibit at the National Museum and I will not be able to forgive myself if I miss it.
- Say Anything & Pretty in Pink: They seriously do not make rom-coms like they used to anymore.
Downloading these other films as well:
- Vicky Cristina Barcelona
- Synecdoche, New York
Very stoked to:
- See the temples of Borobodur.
- Meet Sec-Gen Pitsuwan. I really do have to stop being a massive slug and start doing some serious reading soon, lest he find me horrendously dumb and uninformed and we will be reduced to talking about the weather.
- Get away. By myself.
- Reconnect with Indo friends.
- Attend my friend's wedding. My roommie will also be in town for a 10-day vacay.
- Start my new job. Not at liberty to discuss details yet, but am really keeping fingers crossed on this one.
Friday, June 19, 2009
And I could see our days were becoming nights/I could feel your heartbeat across the grass
And so it has been a year. Tanti auguri. On the eve of your birthday last year you made me bruschetta and some lovely pasta and we shared a bottle of red wine. Our dessert came straight out of a box but I couldn't care less. I miss you, nearly everything about you - your cockiness, our endless conversations about wine and Italian food, the smug look on your face, how you always mumble and I hardly understand what you say. And the way you look at me - no one has ever made me feel so adored. I have long stopped keeping tabs on you, but you still manage to creep into my thoughts every once in a while. You were my favourite out of all the rest.
It's Fete dela Musique again. I recall some three or four years ago I left Fete happy as a lark.
As J.M. Barrie said, God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December.
It's Fete dela Musique again. I recall some three or four years ago I left Fete happy as a lark.
As J.M. Barrie said, God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Porque ya sabes que me encantan esas cosas/que no importa si es muy tonto/soy así
I am not a happy camper. My hormones are all over the place. I feel like a blimp, or as Juno would put it - I am a planet. I am at my fugliest too. Right now I am concurrently The Most Inadequate Person In The World as well.
Consuming a horrifying amount of chocolate did not even help at all. I now eat thrice the amount of food I used to have when I was sick, but I think it only exacerbates the situation further. But how can I help it if I am always starving and having terribly bad cravings for sweets?
Being hormonal along with the depression bit of CFS do not a good combination make. Whilst listening to music does help me deal with things a bit better, then again it can only do so much. Now even imagined (or real - My sense of reality is quite skewed at the moment) transgressions commited by people I once held dear make me go to pieces. This past week has truly been a maelstrom of sadness, but I told myself to only be crestfallen about it for a couple of days at most. Being emo for extended periods of time gets old really quick anyways. Molly Ringwald could not have said it better in Pretty in Pink - I just want them to know that they didn't break me.
Last night I went out to have a couple of drinks by myself and it felt glorious. After all, there are things that you will only be able to sort out when can hear yourself think. Afterwards I hung out with a handful of friends who were prepared to accept the me that I am right now - a very hormonal girl with issues who eats like there is no tomorrow. And I can only show that flawed and human side of myself to very few people in this world.
I just need some time to regroup and I will be back to regular programming shortly.
Consuming a horrifying amount of chocolate did not even help at all. I now eat thrice the amount of food I used to have when I was sick, but I think it only exacerbates the situation further. But how can I help it if I am always starving and having terribly bad cravings for sweets?
Being hormonal along with the depression bit of CFS do not a good combination make. Whilst listening to music does help me deal with things a bit better, then again it can only do so much. Now even imagined (or real - My sense of reality is quite skewed at the moment) transgressions commited by people I once held dear make me go to pieces. This past week has truly been a maelstrom of sadness, but I told myself to only be crestfallen about it for a couple of days at most. Being emo for extended periods of time gets old really quick anyways. Molly Ringwald could not have said it better in Pretty in Pink - I just want them to know that they didn't break me.
Last night I went out to have a couple of drinks by myself and it felt glorious. After all, there are things that you will only be able to sort out when can hear yourself think. Afterwards I hung out with a handful of friends who were prepared to accept the me that I am right now - a very hormonal girl with issues who eats like there is no tomorrow. And I can only show that flawed and human side of myself to very few people in this world.
I just need some time to regroup and I will be back to regular programming shortly.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Mad Girl's Love Song
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
- Sylvia Plath
Sunday, May 31, 2009
My top five songs of the week
I have repeatedly listened to these awesome songs in the past few days:
1. Help I'm Alive by Metric
2. All the Wine by The National
3. Requiem for O.M.M.2 by Of Montreal
4. I Still Remember by Bloc Party
5. Heart by Stars
So much good music, so little time.
1. Help I'm Alive by Metric
2. All the Wine by The National
3. Requiem for O.M.M.2 by Of Montreal
4. I Still Remember by Bloc Party
5. Heart by Stars
So much good music, so little time.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
When there is nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire
1. He would always read me his poems over the phone, very late at night. I remember having to go out to our terrace just to hear him, as reception still wasn't that good back in the day. Once he read me something too beautiful that I found myself closing my eyes, almost inhaling the words.
2. We would always chat with each other online for hours, but offline our relationship was awkward. He would laugh at everything, and all his sentences were punctuated with chuckles. I resolved one day to stop talking to him altogether because I eventually got sick of his diverting all conversations to the topic of this girl he was in love with. I told him that was the last time he'd ever hear from me, and he hurriedly typed Ti voglio bene before I logged off.
3. We were walking hand in hand in a very dark mountain resort. It was nearly winter and it was a very chilly night. He pulled me close to him and kissed me, then he started shivering. He was convulsing with cold and asked if we could come inside my room so he could turn on the heater. He turned to me and asked, Is this the effect you have on men?
4. He would lend me books and DVDs of arthouse films. He lent me his Griffin and Sabine series, and I innocently mentioned to him that I absolutely loved one of the postcards. I borrowed this movie off him one day, and when I opened the case to pop the DVD into the player I notice the postcard was tucked inside.
5. I was still in pajamas, hair rumpled, face unwashed. He was making me a lovely breakfast of pancakes and bacon and I was watching him cook in the kitchen. He stares at me for a good few seconds and I hear him mutter I'm crazy about you under his breath.
6. He and I challenged each other to a drinking contest, and we finished a bottle of vodka in less than an hour. We both passed out on his bed, and then at some stage ended up kissing under the covers. It was surreal, and all very hazy. That night wrecked our friendship and things never reverted to what they used to be before.
7. He and I were at our usual meeting place. I was getting worried because I had to get home soon. Out of nowhere, a massive fireworks display went off. I was in complete awe, captivated like a child. I would squeeze his hand everytime the fireworks would form pretty images in the sky. It turns out the pyrotechnics were part of the US Embassy's 4th of July celebration.
8. I was home alone again as my flatmate had been sleeping over at her boyfriend's for nearly a week. I was aching for company. It was past midnight and I asked him to pop by, and he took a cab just to get to my flat. He asked if I wanted to take a walk, and we went around my quiet neighbourhood for an hour or so while having a very good conversation.
9. We were on holidays and having breakfast with other friends. I had absolutely no appetite that day, and he was convincing me to even just take a few bites of my food. I don't know how it happened, but we just began to hold hands under the table.
2. We would always chat with each other online for hours, but offline our relationship was awkward. He would laugh at everything, and all his sentences were punctuated with chuckles. I resolved one day to stop talking to him altogether because I eventually got sick of his diverting all conversations to the topic of this girl he was in love with. I told him that was the last time he'd ever hear from me, and he hurriedly typed Ti voglio bene before I logged off.
3. We were walking hand in hand in a very dark mountain resort. It was nearly winter and it was a very chilly night. He pulled me close to him and kissed me, then he started shivering. He was convulsing with cold and asked if we could come inside my room so he could turn on the heater. He turned to me and asked, Is this the effect you have on men?
4. He would lend me books and DVDs of arthouse films. He lent me his Griffin and Sabine series, and I innocently mentioned to him that I absolutely loved one of the postcards. I borrowed this movie off him one day, and when I opened the case to pop the DVD into the player I notice the postcard was tucked inside.
5. I was still in pajamas, hair rumpled, face unwashed. He was making me a lovely breakfast of pancakes and bacon and I was watching him cook in the kitchen. He stares at me for a good few seconds and I hear him mutter I'm crazy about you under his breath.
6. He and I challenged each other to a drinking contest, and we finished a bottle of vodka in less than an hour. We both passed out on his bed, and then at some stage ended up kissing under the covers. It was surreal, and all very hazy. That night wrecked our friendship and things never reverted to what they used to be before.
7. He and I were at our usual meeting place. I was getting worried because I had to get home soon. Out of nowhere, a massive fireworks display went off. I was in complete awe, captivated like a child. I would squeeze his hand everytime the fireworks would form pretty images in the sky. It turns out the pyrotechnics were part of the US Embassy's 4th of July celebration.
8. I was home alone again as my flatmate had been sleeping over at her boyfriend's for nearly a week. I was aching for company. It was past midnight and I asked him to pop by, and he took a cab just to get to my flat. He asked if I wanted to take a walk, and we went around my quiet neighbourhood for an hour or so while having a very good conversation.
9. We were on holidays and having breakfast with other friends. I had absolutely no appetite that day, and he was convincing me to even just take a few bites of my food. I don't know how it happened, but we just began to hold hands under the table.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Life, work, friendships
Yesterday I was finally let go from work. My Team Lead (and good friend) and I reached a mutual agreement to just end my consulting engagement immediately and not stick to the prescribed 30-day notice stipulated in my contract anymore. She had a word with the Manila Office Director and thank goodness he was fine with it.
I profusely thank my Team Lead for arranging for this to happen. I was only staying on because of her, really. Well, I guess it was difficult not to turn a blind eye to the fact that my productivity was heavily affected by my condition, and she had a good chat with me about it. In the end I admitted that even the simplest project reports took me ages to write. While working, I always get distracted like anything, and it has become a chore for me to concentrate and compose my thoughts. I hardly am able to make sense of the stuff I read, and I find that when chatting or texting with friends and family there are significant details that I fail to pick up. In short, I am not as sharp as I used to be. This gets me all sad of course, as my livelihood is wholly dependent on my mental faculties. However, I resolve to approach this proactively and do something about it - I promised myself that by next week I should already be reading a full-length novel and the daily paper...small baby steps until I get back to my old self.
If there was something good that came out of my very brief stint with that company, it would have to be, hands down, the awesome people that I met and managed to be friends with. It amazes me how I successfully became friends with a good number of people in a span of only two months. Throughout that period I have hung out with an insanely funny, warm and intelligent lot. I was also pleasantly surprised to have met people who have discriminating taste in music, books and movies - it has been my life mission to find people who like the same things, and so this makes me very euphoric. On my last night I had drinks with these mates at work and it was wild fun. Alcohol truly does bring people together. Even in my drunken stupor I made it a point to talk to everyone and give them hugs. I sorely miss those guys.
I'm really a trooper when it comes to friendship, and just thinking about friends leaves me feeling all warm and fuzzy. This dark phase in my life has truly caught me offguard, but the overwhelming support of family and friends has helped me get by. Everyone was exceedingly supportive of my decision to quit my job, especially the parental units. Oh if I had a dollar for everytime someone wished me to get well soon, I would be made for life.
I profusely thank my Team Lead for arranging for this to happen. I was only staying on because of her, really. Well, I guess it was difficult not to turn a blind eye to the fact that my productivity was heavily affected by my condition, and she had a good chat with me about it. In the end I admitted that even the simplest project reports took me ages to write. While working, I always get distracted like anything, and it has become a chore for me to concentrate and compose my thoughts. I hardly am able to make sense of the stuff I read, and I find that when chatting or texting with friends and family there are significant details that I fail to pick up. In short, I am not as sharp as I used to be. This gets me all sad of course, as my livelihood is wholly dependent on my mental faculties. However, I resolve to approach this proactively and do something about it - I promised myself that by next week I should already be reading a full-length novel and the daily paper...small baby steps until I get back to my old self.
If there was something good that came out of my very brief stint with that company, it would have to be, hands down, the awesome people that I met and managed to be friends with. It amazes me how I successfully became friends with a good number of people in a span of only two months. Throughout that period I have hung out with an insanely funny, warm and intelligent lot. I was also pleasantly surprised to have met people who have discriminating taste in music, books and movies - it has been my life mission to find people who like the same things, and so this makes me very euphoric. On my last night I had drinks with these mates at work and it was wild fun. Alcohol truly does bring people together. Even in my drunken stupor I made it a point to talk to everyone and give them hugs. I sorely miss those guys.
I'm really a trooper when it comes to friendship, and just thinking about friends leaves me feeling all warm and fuzzy. This dark phase in my life has truly caught me offguard, but the overwhelming support of family and friends has helped me get by. Everyone was exceedingly supportive of my decision to quit my job, especially the parental units. Oh if I had a dollar for everytime someone wished me to get well soon, I would be made for life.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Opening a can of worms
Lesson learnt: do not wiki the illness you are afflicted with unless you are prepared to accept what it would tell you. When I got to the bit that said "six months", I began to sob uncontrollably that my tears blurred my vision and I couldn't go on reading. When I finally got a hold of myself, I decided to SMS my good friend who is a medical doctor to ask him to confirm the veracity of this wiki article.
I managed to finish reading the whole wiki entry at some point, but with each paragraph I was being crushed more and more. It was too spot on that it actually got scary. Those are all of MY symptoms, for crying out loud.
Then my phone started to ring and it was him, my MD friend that I had consulted earlier. Apparently he had already flipped through his textbook to revisit that very short bit on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. He proceeded to interrogate me about my symptoms and asked me to give him my abridged medical history, in typical doctor fashion. We had a very good talk and he was able to knock some sense into this very stupid head. He balanced his dual role of being a physician and my good friend throughout the conversation, and I love him to pieces for it - even if it meant having to berate me for blindly believing what fricken Wikipedia had to say about my sickness. Well, in such uncontrollable surges of emotion one is likely to forget that Wikipedia is not exactly the most reliable fount of knowledge around.
At this point in time, I just really want to have my life back. I'm very, very tired as it is.
I managed to finish reading the whole wiki entry at some point, but with each paragraph I was being crushed more and more. It was too spot on that it actually got scary. Those are all of MY symptoms, for crying out loud.
Then my phone started to ring and it was him, my MD friend that I had consulted earlier. Apparently he had already flipped through his textbook to revisit that very short bit on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. He proceeded to interrogate me about my symptoms and asked me to give him my abridged medical history, in typical doctor fashion. We had a very good talk and he was able to knock some sense into this very stupid head. He balanced his dual role of being a physician and my good friend throughout the conversation, and I love him to pieces for it - even if it meant having to berate me for blindly believing what fricken Wikipedia had to say about my sickness. Well, in such uncontrollable surges of emotion one is likely to forget that Wikipedia is not exactly the most reliable fount of knowledge around.
At this point in time, I just really want to have my life back. I'm very, very tired as it is.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Cansancio
This will be my last health-related entry as the topic has already gotten old.
I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome yesterday. Doc says I've also got some prominent lymph nodes and that should be cause for concern. Tomorrow they will take my blood sample because she suspects I may have some bacterial infection inhabiting my stupid body. I am deathly afraid of needles pricking into my veins and I am totally not looking forward to tomorrow.
I just feel so tired all the time. I sleep all day but when I wake up it feels like I hardly slept a wink. Even standing up for a few minutes leaves me tired. I get throbbing muscle spasms and thus walking has also become quite difficult.
When I came in to work yesterday to hand in my resignation, I had to feign I was okay so that my last day would at least go down as a happy one. Internally though, my muscles were waging a war against me and it wasn't very pretty.
I distract myself by listening to insane amounts of music. I've just finished putting together a playlist of 90's songs, and I am considering doing other playlists as well (maybe an infinite 80's one and stuff for the brokenhearted). I don't know where I will be now if it were not for my music. Sickness could be such a bitch.
I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome yesterday. Doc says I've also got some prominent lymph nodes and that should be cause for concern. Tomorrow they will take my blood sample because she suspects I may have some bacterial infection inhabiting my stupid body. I am deathly afraid of needles pricking into my veins and I am totally not looking forward to tomorrow.
I just feel so tired all the time. I sleep all day but when I wake up it feels like I hardly slept a wink. Even standing up for a few minutes leaves me tired. I get throbbing muscle spasms and thus walking has also become quite difficult.
When I came in to work yesterday to hand in my resignation, I had to feign I was okay so that my last day would at least go down as a happy one. Internally though, my muscles were waging a war against me and it wasn't very pretty.
I distract myself by listening to insane amounts of music. I've just finished putting together a playlist of 90's songs, and I am considering doing other playlists as well (maybe an infinite 80's one and stuff for the brokenhearted). I don't know where I will be now if it were not for my music. Sickness could be such a bitch.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Tipping point
Last night I turned up to work thinking things will be heaps better. My raging fever was gone after all (but I was still nursing a lovely hacking cough that had the ability to wake the dead). Anyway, my earlier assumption was massively disproved. I found that I was still horribly disenchanted with work. For the most part of my shift I felt like vomitting my insides out. My muscles got all sore and very tight. I spent the whole night staring at my monitor instead, listless and exhausted like anything.
I think this is the end of the line for me. Life is too short to be spent doing things you don't really like very much. I was telling someone earlier that it was like getting stuck in a loveless marriage, and she laughed. I meant it though, and I still think that no situation in life should ever be even remotely compared to a loveless marriage. When that happens, it only means you have to make big, drastic and very adult decisions pronto to change the course of things or spend your life languishing away.
*****************************************************************
As of tonight I vow to only do the things that I'm wildly passionate about. If I have lukewarm feelings for anything, then I guess it only means it shouldn't even warrant an iota of my time. According to Irving Stone's The Agony and the Ecstasy, Michelangelo refused to accept fresco painting jobs even when he was down and out because sculpture was his one true passion. And Michelangelo would sculpt and carve for days on end, forgetting to eat and sleep as he was so consumed by his deep love for his art.
I want to find that too - I want to get lost in something that I love so purely and madly as well. Until I am able to work that out, I guess the only thing left to do is to stop pursuing what it is that makes me sick and unhappy.
I think this is the end of the line for me. Life is too short to be spent doing things you don't really like very much. I was telling someone earlier that it was like getting stuck in a loveless marriage, and she laughed. I meant it though, and I still think that no situation in life should ever be even remotely compared to a loveless marriage. When that happens, it only means you have to make big, drastic and very adult decisions pronto to change the course of things or spend your life languishing away.
*****************************************************************
As of tonight I vow to only do the things that I'm wildly passionate about. If I have lukewarm feelings for anything, then I guess it only means it shouldn't even warrant an iota of my time. According to Irving Stone's The Agony and the Ecstasy, Michelangelo refused to accept fresco painting jobs even when he was down and out because sculpture was his one true passion. And Michelangelo would sculpt and carve for days on end, forgetting to eat and sleep as he was so consumed by his deep love for his art.
I want to find that too - I want to get lost in something that I love so purely and madly as well. Until I am able to work that out, I guess the only thing left to do is to stop pursuing what it is that makes me sick and unhappy.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
The week that was
As we speak I am convalescing from the flu. There's still vestiges of disease in my system and I am still coughing like a grandma but overall I think I am already on the way to full recovery. I was bedridden for a couple of days and that bored me to tears as I am not a big fan of TV watching and I lacked the minimum number of brain cells to be able to read properly. I was left with no other choice but to Facebook like mad to amuse myself and help me forget that I was immobile and useless.
I am still not very thrilled about work, but I have learnt to live with my demons. I met a girl in the office and she's also a newbie, and having her around helped make things at work a lot more tolerable. I eat and sleep better (relatively) now compared to last week and I am quite happy with the progress I am making.
Fridays are still the highlight of my week. A friend from Indonesia (with the most limpid and expressive eyes) was in town and we had dinner. He was the sweetest - brought me Mi Goreng and Gudang Garam and keychains and things. I also had nibbles and drinkies with girlfriends and that really helped cap a rather lackluster week.
I think for now my pattern will be auto-pilot mode Mondays to Thursdays - meaning I will merely go through the motions at work on those days. Fridays I will reserve for listening to The Cure and trying to be as sublimely happy as I can as I celebrate the end of another work-week and the promise of catching up with friends again.
I am still not very thrilled about work, but I have learnt to live with my demons. I met a girl in the office and she's also a newbie, and having her around helped make things at work a lot more tolerable. I eat and sleep better (relatively) now compared to last week and I am quite happy with the progress I am making.
Fridays are still the highlight of my week. A friend from Indonesia (with the most limpid and expressive eyes) was in town and we had dinner. He was the sweetest - brought me Mi Goreng and Gudang Garam and keychains and things. I also had nibbles and drinkies with girlfriends and that really helped cap a rather lackluster week.
I think for now my pattern will be auto-pilot mode Mondays to Thursdays - meaning I will merely go through the motions at work on those days. Fridays I will reserve for listening to The Cure and trying to be as sublimely happy as I can as I celebrate the end of another work-week and the promise of catching up with friends again.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Going graveyard
My first week on the night shift has been far from peachy. Body clock destroyed, inability to sleep soundly, loss of appetite (which is super uncharacteristic of me! I have had to FORCE myself to eat), episodes of self-questioning and a general disinterest in the work that I do.
This week has been my most unproductive so far. I literally accomplished nothing cos I've been slacking off majorly the whole time. It just hit me one night that that I have some issues with what I do. I hate to be very immature about this, but I never really thought that disliking your job could make you want to cry.
It also didn't help that I hardly knew the people on the night shift and on my second day (night?!) I just needed to see a friendly face. I had to brave a shitstorm that day and all I really hankered for was a hug or someone to whine to. It was terribly terribly frustrating, to say the least.
Complaining won't change the current state of things and I realise that. Guess I gotta learn to deal with it like a big girl and grin and bear it. Fingers crossed the second week won't be as cruel.
This week has been my most unproductive so far. I literally accomplished nothing cos I've been slacking off majorly the whole time. It just hit me one night that that I have some issues with what I do. I hate to be very immature about this, but I never really thought that disliking your job could make you want to cry.
It also didn't help that I hardly knew the people on the night shift and on my second day (night?!) I just needed to see a friendly face. I had to brave a shitstorm that day and all I really hankered for was a hug or someone to whine to. It was terribly terribly frustrating, to say the least.
Complaining won't change the current state of things and I realise that. Guess I gotta learn to deal with it like a big girl and grin and bear it. Fingers crossed the second week won't be as cruel.
Jerks abound
One of my friends just called off her engagement as their love story was getting too convoluted. Another one just discovered that she got cheated on pretty bad. This other friend hooked up with someone recently, but only a few weeks into the relationship and she has stopped hearing from him. Now the dude has officially gone missing. There's heaps of other stories, but the bottomline is that the jerks of this world are taking down my friends one by one and I can't help but get alarmed.
My best friends are an extension of myself, and thus their pain is only too palpable. I've been there, I know what it's like and I commiserate with them. I just can't help but wonder how come jerks are multiplying exponentially. The jerks-nice guys gap is widening at a staggering rate. What is the world coming to? Are nice guys being reduced to a myth?
I've now made some resolutions in an attempt to shield myself from getting burnt like my friends did. The recent nasty turn of events involving them has inspired me to seriously rethink things. Note to self: spare yourself the trouble and just stick to the status quo.
On a related note, I went to this thingo last night. I swear to never do it again, but I still think it was worth giving a try ONCE. At the rate things are going with my own friends, it isn't really such a good idea to put yourself out there for vultures to devour.
My best friends are an extension of myself, and thus their pain is only too palpable. I've been there, I know what it's like and I commiserate with them. I just can't help but wonder how come jerks are multiplying exponentially. The jerks-nice guys gap is widening at a staggering rate. What is the world coming to? Are nice guys being reduced to a myth?
I've now made some resolutions in an attempt to shield myself from getting burnt like my friends did. The recent nasty turn of events involving them has inspired me to seriously rethink things. Note to self: spare yourself the trouble and just stick to the status quo.
On a related note, I went to this thingo last night. I swear to never do it again, but I still think it was worth giving a try ONCE. At the rate things are going with my own friends, it isn't really such a good idea to put yourself out there for vultures to devour.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Blog backlog
Shtuff that happened in the past few weeks (notice that I am getting lazier to update this):
- New job: Two and a half weeks and still standing. Actually, I'm liking what I'm doing. I enjoy that I get to write reports and translate documents into Spanish and learn heaps of stuff about international development everyday. At the moment, my team is working on this research project commissioned by a UN agency and it's turning out to be quite a big task but I must say I am enjoying the challenge. This job is very much like going to school, since all the scholarly elements are present - research, writing, analysis. All fun stuff really, but whoever said brain work wasn't tiring?? Even if I hardly move at work I come home wrecked as hell and sleep like a baby every single night. Next week is my last week on the day shift. Let's see what major life changes the night shift will bring.
- I think I may have entirely lost all interest in going out at night. Yes, this is a function of being tired and broke all the time. Lately I have been eagerly awaiting to get home early on Friday nights to chillax in my room, not even stopping for a second to think that I might be missing out on fun and booze and Friday night shenanigans or whatevs. My days of being young and reckless and shitfaced all the time are behind me now. Well, I still do go out for lunch/quick dinner with friends once or twice a week, but it has been AGES since I last stayed up drinking in wild abandon like I used to. My battered liver can only handle so much now.
- As some of you know, I briefly flirted with the idea of having not one but TWO jobs, a day one and a night one. For the life of me, I don't even know why I even considered doing that. Anyway, I am happy to report that I am only keeping the night one (the day one is history). I was never too keen on the day one to begin with. Thank goodness I won't have to give up sleep anymore, my most favourite thing to do in life.
- I am off to the land of Mi Goreng and Gudang Guram sometime June/July. I won this essay writing competition sponsored by the ASEAN and part of my prize is a trip to Jakarta to meet the Secretary-General. I am excited like anything! This early I have shot all of my lovely Indo friends a message to let them know of my visit, and I am so stoked to see them again. Everything seems surreal still, and it's incredibly unbelievable how I managed to win the contest when my essay was crap at its finest. Anyway, I am so convulsively happy. Can you say dream come true?? This is so mad.
- New job: Two and a half weeks and still standing. Actually, I'm liking what I'm doing. I enjoy that I get to write reports and translate documents into Spanish and learn heaps of stuff about international development everyday. At the moment, my team is working on this research project commissioned by a UN agency and it's turning out to be quite a big task but I must say I am enjoying the challenge. This job is very much like going to school, since all the scholarly elements are present - research, writing, analysis. All fun stuff really, but whoever said brain work wasn't tiring?? Even if I hardly move at work I come home wrecked as hell and sleep like a baby every single night. Next week is my last week on the day shift. Let's see what major life changes the night shift will bring.
- I think I may have entirely lost all interest in going out at night. Yes, this is a function of being tired and broke all the time. Lately I have been eagerly awaiting to get home early on Friday nights to chillax in my room, not even stopping for a second to think that I might be missing out on fun and booze and Friday night shenanigans or whatevs. My days of being young and reckless and shitfaced all the time are behind me now. Well, I still do go out for lunch/quick dinner with friends once or twice a week, but it has been AGES since I last stayed up drinking in wild abandon like I used to. My battered liver can only handle so much now.
- As some of you know, I briefly flirted with the idea of having not one but TWO jobs, a day one and a night one. For the life of me, I don't even know why I even considered doing that. Anyway, I am happy to report that I am only keeping the night one (the day one is history). I was never too keen on the day one to begin with. Thank goodness I won't have to give up sleep anymore, my most favourite thing to do in life.
- I am off to the land of Mi Goreng and Gudang Guram sometime June/July. I won this essay writing competition sponsored by the ASEAN and part of my prize is a trip to Jakarta to meet the Secretary-General. I am excited like anything! This early I have shot all of my lovely Indo friends a message to let them know of my visit, and I am so stoked to see them again. Everything seems surreal still, and it's incredibly unbelievable how I managed to win the contest when my essay was crap at its finest. Anyway, I am so convulsively happy. Can you say dream come true?? This is so mad.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career.
**For a second there I wanted to put down the title "Have job, will travel" but that's gonna be such a joke, wouldn't it? We all know that the phrase is a massive, massive irony.
So I finally have A JOB. So yeah, party's over, time to slave away and make cashola to be able to pay off debts. The offer letter was emailed to me this afternoon. It's a researcher position which would involve resurrecting what's left of my long-dormant Spanish skills. I'm honestly not too thrilled about the pay and the hours (night shift, baby), but hey, beggars can so not be choosers, can they? Especially not during such trying times of global financial hardship. The recession has indeed placed us in a situation where we must really learn to make do with the cards we are dealt. Besides, I really shouldn't complain - I just learnt that one of my classmates in grad school is now working as a prison guard in Europe. My heart bled a little for him.
There is a very convoluted side drama behind all this, but I would rather not document all the sordid details in this space. The basic gist of it is that this whole employment search ordeal unexpectedly became a protracted one. Also, I definitely did not expect that I would be subjected to boss dudes with the most inflated egos who enjoy playing god and do not even practice basic courtesy. This country is crawling full of them. And guess what, HR people here can be quite a cruel lot as well.
I came thisclose to getting into a health policy fellowship, but sadly they couldn't find a match for me (meaning an agency with a need for someone with my quals). I already reached the final stages of selection and all (despite having magnificently messed up the essay bit) but being the only non-medical person in the group, I was truly placed at a disadvantage. There were a few other near hits, but I'm really not excited to elaborate. Let's just say that this whole experience was so frustrating and traumatic and I am just so relieved that I can put it all behind me now.
I'm still keen on specialising in Southeast Asia and I am very much entertaining the thought of doing a Phd in the medium term. At the moment I'm convinced that boring-ass office work and operating on a 9-6 schedule is totally not for me, and that maybe my true calling is a career steeped in research and scholarship. I'm really heaps happier studying than working. My good friend C. has been telling me repeatedly that keeping myself in school is the coward's way to escape reality, but whatevs. What can I do, I'm Peter Pan like that. I also just read another pessimistic article listing down numerous reasons against doing a Phd, but strangely enough my resolve is still firm. Let's just see how it all plays out. We're talking about a precious investment of another 4-5 years here, and I wonder if I will still have the willpower and tenacity (and the funding!!!) to complete such a mammoth endeavour by then.
PS A couple of weeks ago I joined a Facebook group called I Picked a Major I Like, and One Day I Will Probably Be Living In a Box. Happy to have found over a hundred thousand people from all over the world in the same predicament. Yay for passion and idealism. Yay for having the cojones to follow your dreams. I just hope those things manage to keep us from starving.
So I finally have A JOB. So yeah, party's over, time to slave away and make cashola to be able to pay off debts. The offer letter was emailed to me this afternoon. It's a researcher position which would involve resurrecting what's left of my long-dormant Spanish skills. I'm honestly not too thrilled about the pay and the hours (night shift, baby), but hey, beggars can so not be choosers, can they? Especially not during such trying times of global financial hardship. The recession has indeed placed us in a situation where we must really learn to make do with the cards we are dealt. Besides, I really shouldn't complain - I just learnt that one of my classmates in grad school is now working as a prison guard in Europe. My heart bled a little for him.
There is a very convoluted side drama behind all this, but I would rather not document all the sordid details in this space. The basic gist of it is that this whole employment search ordeal unexpectedly became a protracted one. Also, I definitely did not expect that I would be subjected to boss dudes with the most inflated egos who enjoy playing god and do not even practice basic courtesy. This country is crawling full of them. And guess what, HR people here can be quite a cruel lot as well.
I came thisclose to getting into a health policy fellowship, but sadly they couldn't find a match for me (meaning an agency with a need for someone with my quals). I already reached the final stages of selection and all (despite having magnificently messed up the essay bit) but being the only non-medical person in the group, I was truly placed at a disadvantage. There were a few other near hits, but I'm really not excited to elaborate. Let's just say that this whole experience was so frustrating and traumatic and I am just so relieved that I can put it all behind me now.
I'm still keen on specialising in Southeast Asia and I am very much entertaining the thought of doing a Phd in the medium term. At the moment I'm convinced that boring-ass office work and operating on a 9-6 schedule is totally not for me, and that maybe my true calling is a career steeped in research and scholarship. I'm really heaps happier studying than working. My good friend C. has been telling me repeatedly that keeping myself in school is the coward's way to escape reality, but whatevs. What can I do, I'm Peter Pan like that. I also just read another pessimistic article listing down numerous reasons against doing a Phd, but strangely enough my resolve is still firm. Let's just see how it all plays out. We're talking about a precious investment of another 4-5 years here, and I wonder if I will still have the willpower and tenacity (and the funding!!!) to complete such a mammoth endeavour by then.
PS A couple of weeks ago I joined a Facebook group called I Picked a Major I Like, and One Day I Will Probably Be Living In a Box. Happy to have found over a hundred thousand people from all over the world in the same predicament. Yay for passion and idealism. Yay for having the cojones to follow your dreams. I just hope those things manage to keep us from starving.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Oishi oink oink
I have gone through a Mr. Chips phase, followed by a Doritos phase, and now mi última adicción is Oishi's Vegetarian Chicharon. It's really my dad's fault that I got hooked, he *coerced* me to try it the other day and since then I have been having it nonstop. Props to me for being a good girl and picking something healthy this time around. According to the back label, its main ingredients are peas and tapioca starch. People think that the 0% trans fat claim is pure hogwash, but whatever, it's still heaps healthier than other chips around.I have to give it to those Oishi guys, they are really stepping up. I remember back in HS, my favourite seatmate gave me a massive box of Oishi goodies on my birthday (she is the sister of a movie star who used to endorse Oishi) and I immensely enjoyed their chips. A famous writer (whose blog I follow) always extolled the virtues of their latest snack line and so I was inspired to grab a few bags of their cheese sponge thingo. I was quite disappointed though, it tasted funny and I couldn't decide if it was sweet or salty. Apparently she hoards them by the box as she would also feed them to her cats.
Also, she says that Oishi has now secured a 10% share of China's snack food market. Watch out, world.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
What went down on Valentine's Day/Night
- Pepper Lunch at the Shang with my singleton girls, C. and E. Lunch was on E. as she just got her hands on her fat and juicy paycheck (Thanks heaps!!!). Was happy to finally have Beef Pepper Rice again after what seemed like an eternity (the last time I was at Pepper Lunch on George Street was WYD last year).
- We joined a Body Shop makeup competition thingo. The girls conspired to orchestrate this very convoluted plan to get me to Glorietta on the pretext of "meeting with another friend", but the long and short of it is that they have previously signed me up to become a model (here's the part where I shudder repeatedly) for the makeup contest. It was too late to bail my sorry ass out and so I just went along with the plan, like the very good sport that I was (hehe). We were made to wear Myphosis dresses (which they later took back) and heels (I came totally unprepared so I had to borrow a pair off someone). We each drew lots to work out which makeup artist would do our faces. These professional makeup people were tasked "to bring out our natural beauty" (yes, that was the major criterion of the contest...which is ironic really, considering it was a makeup competition). I ended up with I., who was extremely sweet. She was quite meticulous with details and that really served her in good stead - she made it to the Top 13 at the end of the competition (the 13 stylists will all move on to the next round). I find this unbelievable still as I did the WORST catwalk walk among the girls. Also, I nearly tripped going up the stage, my shoe almost fell off and I exited the wrong way. Que disastro. Good thing it was a makeup competition and not a modelling one. I still reckon I looked uglier post-makeup than pre-makeup (not because I. did a lousy job, but more than cosmetics, it's a facelift I need), but I'm exceedingly thankful the judges gave I. the chance to advance to the next stage. I really wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if she got cut off the list. At the end of the competition all of the models (I am retro-cringing as I say that again) were given Body Shop freebies. The blush and the eye shadow are truly gorgeous. The organisers were consistent with the V-Day theme as there was a Mallrats-type dating contest thing going on whilst the judges were tallying up the scores. The whole time I was telling myself that I was better off being part of the makeup contest as the levels of public humiliation involved were far less. I truly felt for the poor girls on stage (searchees, they are called), as they were subjected to the agony of answering a bunch of very ridiculous questions and doing bloody embarrassing noontime show stuff like singing and dancing.
- Quickly popped by Eastwood to meet with T., one of my closest friends from Oz who I haven't seen in nearly half a year. She's now back in Sydney and I was so happy to have hung out with her, even for just half an hour.
- UP Fair. As usual, I didn't even attempt to enter the fair grounds. What's the point anyways, the queues were impossibly long and there is always that looming risk of getting embroiled in another bloody riot. We met up with the boys (D. & A.) and decided to hang at Sarah's instead and have a few drinkies. There was a bohemian poetry reading thingo going on at Sarah's and it was quite packed. We grabbed a few bottles of Red Horse and I finally (FINALLY!) got meself a Happy Horse (five hundred beers too late!). The beers were warm as piss but the night was happy and I was with awesome company so it was all good. I was out for fifteen hours that day and I was so wrecked when I got home but I couldn't help but think it was such a mad way to spend Valentine's.
- We joined a Body Shop makeup competition thingo. The girls conspired to orchestrate this very convoluted plan to get me to Glorietta on the pretext of "meeting with another friend", but the long and short of it is that they have previously signed me up to become a model (here's the part where I shudder repeatedly) for the makeup contest. It was too late to bail my sorry ass out and so I just went along with the plan, like the very good sport that I was (hehe). We were made to wear Myphosis dresses (which they later took back) and heels (I came totally unprepared so I had to borrow a pair off someone). We each drew lots to work out which makeup artist would do our faces. These professional makeup people were tasked "to bring out our natural beauty" (yes, that was the major criterion of the contest...which is ironic really, considering it was a makeup competition). I ended up with I., who was extremely sweet. She was quite meticulous with details and that really served her in good stead - she made it to the Top 13 at the end of the competition (the 13 stylists will all move on to the next round). I find this unbelievable still as I did the WORST catwalk walk among the girls. Also, I nearly tripped going up the stage, my shoe almost fell off and I exited the wrong way. Que disastro. Good thing it was a makeup competition and not a modelling one. I still reckon I looked uglier post-makeup than pre-makeup (not because I. did a lousy job, but more than cosmetics, it's a facelift I need), but I'm exceedingly thankful the judges gave I. the chance to advance to the next stage. I really wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if she got cut off the list. At the end of the competition all of the models (I am retro-cringing as I say that again) were given Body Shop freebies. The blush and the eye shadow are truly gorgeous. The organisers were consistent with the V-Day theme as there was a Mallrats-type dating contest thing going on whilst the judges were tallying up the scores. The whole time I was telling myself that I was better off being part of the makeup contest as the levels of public humiliation involved were far less. I truly felt for the poor girls on stage (searchees, they are called), as they were subjected to the agony of answering a bunch of very ridiculous questions and doing bloody embarrassing noontime show stuff like singing and dancing.
- Quickly popped by Eastwood to meet with T., one of my closest friends from Oz who I haven't seen in nearly half a year. She's now back in Sydney and I was so happy to have hung out with her, even for just half an hour.
- UP Fair. As usual, I didn't even attempt to enter the fair grounds. What's the point anyways, the queues were impossibly long and there is always that looming risk of getting embroiled in another bloody riot. We met up with the boys (D. & A.) and decided to hang at Sarah's instead and have a few drinkies. There was a bohemian poetry reading thingo going on at Sarah's and it was quite packed. We grabbed a few bottles of Red Horse and I finally (FINALLY!) got meself a Happy Horse (five hundred beers too late!). The beers were warm as piss but the night was happy and I was with awesome company so it was all good. I was out for fifteen hours that day and I was so wrecked when I got home but I couldn't help but think it was such a mad way to spend Valentine's.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Happy manufactured capitalist holiday!
And no, I am not bitter :p Here's a few snippets from my favourite lurrrrve movies of all time to prove I am still not jaded and unfeeling.
In the Mood for Love - Too beautiful. There are no words to describe this scene.
Before Sunrise - How I would kill to have my personal love story patterned after this movie. Endless conversations with someone impossibly intelligent and spontaneous and who I genuinely connect with (kindred spirit! That's the word). Traipsing around Europe together. Spending an entire day with that person and not having the slightest idea what to do and where to go next. Anyway this scene is so deeply meaningful to me because you will only understand it if you actually saw the movie (and paid real attention). When I leave a certain place that I have developed some attachment to, my mind creates its own montage of photographs of significant spots and spaces (also set to music...I am artistic like that).
Say Anything - Please let me know where I could score a DVD of this. The movie has the simplest storyline but it's still Cameron Crowe's finest work, methinks. John Cusack plays the cutest loser evah whilst Ione Skye is an overachiever. A critical piece of information - the movie is set in high school, so how can that not make you nostalgic? Check out how John Cusack holds up a boom box (80's jargon alert) playing Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes whilst standing outside Ione Skye's window.
El Lado Oscuro del Corazón (The Dark Side of the Heart) - This scene is precious. A poet is at a bar reciting my favourite favourite Mario Benedetti poem (Táctica y Estrategia) to a hooker, and surprisingly, she finishes off the poem for him. This movie is replete with surrealist elements and Benedetti's heartbreakingly beautiful poetry.
**There's actually heaps more but unfortunately they're not up on Youtube (Los Amantes del Círculo Polar, Dream for an Insomniac, Cinema Paradiso, etc.).
***Check out what Valentine's really means. Definition brought to you by the brilliant geniuses of urbandictionary.com, the site I run to whenever I need a good laugh.
In the Mood for Love - Too beautiful. There are no words to describe this scene.
Before Sunrise - How I would kill to have my personal love story patterned after this movie. Endless conversations with someone impossibly intelligent and spontaneous and who I genuinely connect with (kindred spirit! That's the word). Traipsing around Europe together. Spending an entire day with that person and not having the slightest idea what to do and where to go next. Anyway this scene is so deeply meaningful to me because you will only understand it if you actually saw the movie (and paid real attention). When I leave a certain place that I have developed some attachment to, my mind creates its own montage of photographs of significant spots and spaces (also set to music...I am artistic like that).
Say Anything - Please let me know where I could score a DVD of this. The movie has the simplest storyline but it's still Cameron Crowe's finest work, methinks. John Cusack plays the cutest loser evah whilst Ione Skye is an overachiever. A critical piece of information - the movie is set in high school, so how can that not make you nostalgic? Check out how John Cusack holds up a boom box (80's jargon alert) playing Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes whilst standing outside Ione Skye's window.
El Lado Oscuro del Corazón (The Dark Side of the Heart) - This scene is precious. A poet is at a bar reciting my favourite favourite Mario Benedetti poem (Táctica y Estrategia) to a hooker, and surprisingly, she finishes off the poem for him. This movie is replete with surrealist elements and Benedetti's heartbreakingly beautiful poetry.
**There's actually heaps more but unfortunately they're not up on Youtube (Los Amantes del Círculo Polar, Dream for an Insomniac, Cinema Paradiso, etc.).
***Check out what Valentine's really means. Definition brought to you by the brilliant geniuses of urbandictionary.com, the site I run to whenever I need a good laugh.
The phrase "Valentine" was coined sometime after July of 1947, by either the Ebe Alien culture or Chuck Norris himself, as a technological trade that would allow corporations to scam millions of lonely hearts like Paris Hilton. It is understood these technologies, and holiday ideas are just some of the many things that the Aliens have provided us in exchange for the thousands of helpless abductees, cows and crops who are assaulted each year.
Valentines day has become as much of a worldwide epidemic as people who expect you to remember and much less care when it is their birthdays. On valentines many ladies will perform favors for flowers and candy versus the old rent payment, it gives the many guys who'd never would have had a chance otherwise, a break.
Valentines day has become as much of a worldwide epidemic as people who expect you to remember and much less care when it is their birthdays. On valentines many ladies will perform favors for flowers and candy versus the old rent payment, it gives the many guys who'd never would have had a chance otherwise, a break.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Two weeks of tourguiding and other stuff
The past two weeks I played gracious tour guide to two very good friends - C., who is one of my best friends from Macq Uni and I., a very close family friend from Sydney. C. was in town for nine days whilst I fulfilled babysitting duties to young I. for around five. I was truly physically and financially drained after they left. However, even if I was so destroyed from all the tourguiding, it was still a very awesome two weeks. I am missing them both to pieces as I write this.
Other Significant Things That Happened in the Last Two Weeks:
- C. and I went to Bora. My second time in four years. Initially, I was quite hesitant to take her there because I felt that the place is already too commercialised and touristy for comfort. I was actually more keen on heading to Palawan instead but I figured she would enjoy the bustling night life in Bora more. But wow, surprisingly, the four days and three nights we were there turned out to be a heaps mad experience for me. We hardly got any sun cos of the funny weather at the time (it was so chilly that we didn't swim at all) but it was all good. We became super friends with two musicians on the island (one was a dreadlocked cutie and the other one was a very sweet guy with so much talent) and they took us to this totally dodgy club called Summer Place packed with sleazy Europeans full-on taking advantage of young islanders.
I was also able to reconnect with one of my good friends from college whilst there. He's now an MD and he had brief stint with one of the local hospitals on the island. I was incredibly fortunate to have been able to hang out with him for a bit since I know full well that when we both get back to Manila it would be impossible to see each other again, owing to his cruel schedule. On his last night, we bought a couple of fruit shakes and hung out with his other doctor friends (plus the sweet musician) at Jonah's.
We stayed at Boracay Tropics in Station 2 and whilst the place is not exactly beach front (it's a five minute walk to the shore), it was still a very very lovely place nonetheless and the service is excellent. The food servings are ginormous and the staff is so warm and friendly. Snaps to Bora Tropics for making our stay a truly awesome one!
C. and I are the world's biggest slugs so we actually spent more than half our vaycay sleeping and eating. Whenever we weren't doing those things, we were drinking our weight in Red Horse or smoking shisha whilst chillaxing by the beach at night. We were so lazy that we would only manage to get as far as Station 2, so we mostly spent our evenings at the Bom Bom Bar listening to live bands. I have always hated mainstream music like anything but ever since two weeks ago Jason Mraz's I'm Yours and Howie Day's Collide have assumed renewed meaning in my life (sigh such nostalgia!!!). C. said that Filipinos must revere Jason Mraz like a god since you can't not hear a Jason Mraz song being played every five minutes.
On our last day, I insisted that we spend a good part of the day on the beach instead of dozing off again in our hotel room. So we laid down our lazy-ass bodies on the mats in Station 3 and ordered more Red Horse (we consumed indecent amounts of Red Horse, it was so not funny) whilst we read our books and waited for sunset. I was able to take extremely gorgeous photos of that day's breathtaking sunset which I will put up on Flickr once I've set up an account.
- My friends and I did Rockeoke at Magnet. Omg. How did I muster enough cojones to get up the stage and sing Total Eclipse of the Heart again? And guess what, there was even incriminating evidence of how I made such a bloody fool of myself, in video format. Whilst performing on stage that night, I honestly thought I was doing a pretty decent job. However, when I was reviewing the video days after (whilst sober and thus with clearer judgment spared from the wrath of alcohol), I realised that I wasn't really singing but I was actually yelling (very annoyingly too) all the way. Again, that totally embarrassing performance was the end result of too much Red Horse (mind you it was Beer Below Zero, which is liquid gold really). But don't get me wrong, I would so love to do Rockeoke again - I have to vindicate myself.
- I attended a college reunion. I was so thrilled to see everyone again and catch up. Such mad fun. Actually, I was able to go out with a good number of friends the past two weeks, and in particular, friends I have not seen in ages. That accounts for the recurrence of warm and fuzzy feelings and the constant urge to hug everyone very very tightly.
- My brother and I took I. to Enchanted Kingdom. It has been aeons since I was last at EK and I was able to appreciate the rides with child-like wonder this time around. We did Space Shuttle first (much to the horror of my brother who until that day has never been on a rollercoaster evah) and that was so mad. My fave rides are still the Flying Fiesta, the Wheel of Fate, Dodgem and the Roller Skater. We were there on a Sunday so we also saw the weekend fireworks. We managed to get on every ride except the Log Jam, but it wasn't such a great loss as we were already extremely drenched from the Rio Grande Rapids. We also did the 4D thingo and the Haunted House (which gave I. the scare of her life). EK is so beautiful at night, what with the pretty lights, the cool breeze and the fantastic fireworks (it would've been perfect had we been on the ferris wheel when they went off, the view must have been spectacular from up there). I. said that theme parks are a good place to go on a date and I couldn't agree more.
Other Significant Things That Happened in the Last Two Weeks:
- C. and I went to Bora. My second time in four years. Initially, I was quite hesitant to take her there because I felt that the place is already too commercialised and touristy for comfort. I was actually more keen on heading to Palawan instead but I figured she would enjoy the bustling night life in Bora more. But wow, surprisingly, the four days and three nights we were there turned out to be a heaps mad experience for me. We hardly got any sun cos of the funny weather at the time (it was so chilly that we didn't swim at all) but it was all good. We became super friends with two musicians on the island (one was a dreadlocked cutie and the other one was a very sweet guy with so much talent) and they took us to this totally dodgy club called Summer Place packed with sleazy Europeans full-on taking advantage of young islanders.
I was also able to reconnect with one of my good friends from college whilst there. He's now an MD and he had brief stint with one of the local hospitals on the island. I was incredibly fortunate to have been able to hang out with him for a bit since I know full well that when we both get back to Manila it would be impossible to see each other again, owing to his cruel schedule. On his last night, we bought a couple of fruit shakes and hung out with his other doctor friends (plus the sweet musician) at Jonah's.
We stayed at Boracay Tropics in Station 2 and whilst the place is not exactly beach front (it's a five minute walk to the shore), it was still a very very lovely place nonetheless and the service is excellent. The food servings are ginormous and the staff is so warm and friendly. Snaps to Bora Tropics for making our stay a truly awesome one!
C. and I are the world's biggest slugs so we actually spent more than half our vaycay sleeping and eating. Whenever we weren't doing those things, we were drinking our weight in Red Horse or smoking shisha whilst chillaxing by the beach at night. We were so lazy that we would only manage to get as far as Station 2, so we mostly spent our evenings at the Bom Bom Bar listening to live bands. I have always hated mainstream music like anything but ever since two weeks ago Jason Mraz's I'm Yours and Howie Day's Collide have assumed renewed meaning in my life (sigh such nostalgia!!!). C. said that Filipinos must revere Jason Mraz like a god since you can't not hear a Jason Mraz song being played every five minutes.
On our last day, I insisted that we spend a good part of the day on the beach instead of dozing off again in our hotel room. So we laid down our lazy-ass bodies on the mats in Station 3 and ordered more Red Horse (we consumed indecent amounts of Red Horse, it was so not funny) whilst we read our books and waited for sunset. I was able to take extremely gorgeous photos of that day's breathtaking sunset which I will put up on Flickr once I've set up an account.
- My friends and I did Rockeoke at Magnet. Omg. How did I muster enough cojones to get up the stage and sing Total Eclipse of the Heart again? And guess what, there was even incriminating evidence of how I made such a bloody fool of myself, in video format. Whilst performing on stage that night, I honestly thought I was doing a pretty decent job. However, when I was reviewing the video days after (whilst sober and thus with clearer judgment spared from the wrath of alcohol), I realised that I wasn't really singing but I was actually yelling (very annoyingly too) all the way. Again, that totally embarrassing performance was the end result of too much Red Horse (mind you it was Beer Below Zero, which is liquid gold really). But don't get me wrong, I would so love to do Rockeoke again - I have to vindicate myself.
- I attended a college reunion. I was so thrilled to see everyone again and catch up. Such mad fun. Actually, I was able to go out with a good number of friends the past two weeks, and in particular, friends I have not seen in ages. That accounts for the recurrence of warm and fuzzy feelings and the constant urge to hug everyone very very tightly.
- My brother and I took I. to Enchanted Kingdom. It has been aeons since I was last at EK and I was able to appreciate the rides with child-like wonder this time around. We did Space Shuttle first (much to the horror of my brother who until that day has never been on a rollercoaster evah) and that was so mad. My fave rides are still the Flying Fiesta, the Wheel of Fate, Dodgem and the Roller Skater. We were there on a Sunday so we also saw the weekend fireworks. We managed to get on every ride except the Log Jam, but it wasn't such a great loss as we were already extremely drenched from the Rio Grande Rapids. We also did the 4D thingo and the Haunted House (which gave I. the scare of her life). EK is so beautiful at night, what with the pretty lights, the cool breeze and the fantastic fireworks (it would've been perfect had we been on the ferris wheel when they went off, the view must have been spectacular from up there). I. said that theme parks are a good place to go on a date and I couldn't agree more.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
On my hols in Malaysia (or How I Proved That Malaysia Is Indeed Truly Asia...Whatever That Means)
Spent Christmas and New Years in Malaysia with the famille, and absolutely enjoyed all of the nine days I was there. Trip highlights and commentary:
- How unbelievably cheap everything was. A decent and filling meal could be had for as low as 13 pesos, and if you are willing to spend a couple more ringgits you can have yourself a veritable feast (more on this later). I bought myself six pairs of Vincci shoes (VNC to us) for less than three grand. I upgraded my laptop (got a 320gb HDD and 2gb RAM) for less than the price of the 160gb external hard disk I bought here in Manila. Petrol is only 15 pesos a litre and only around 7 bucks for CNG. DSLR's which cost 32 grand in Manila only sell for 23,ooo. A tub of ice cream is only a little over a hundred pesos. Toll and parking fees are 26 pesos on the average. We stayed in 3 to 4-star hotels all the way and paid close to nothing. Our tour guide only spends around 200 pesos for his monthly water bill and 2,000 pesos for electricity (and his family uses airconditioners every night!). You can easily rent a 3-4 bedroom house for 7-8,000 pesos. If only for the very low cost of living, I would so move to Malaysia in a heartbeat.
- The food is indescribably GOOD (and I mean it for realz since I actually had to pause for a moment and wrack my brain for appropriate adjectives that capture the delishness of their culinary delights. Words would likely fail you when you attempt to describe the food in Malaysia - believe me, it's THAT good). I stuffed my face silly nearly everyday with roti canai (13 pesos only!), Maggi goreng (45 pesos!), nasi goreng ayam (less than 65 pesos for a massive plate!), duck rice (50 bucks! Duck has never been so cheap and divine!), char kway teow (45 pesos!), chicken satay (8 pesos a stick!), ais kacang (shaved ice with fruit and other wonderful things - 40 pesos!), Hainanese chicken rice (so cheap I don't remember how much it costs!). In every street corner there was always a wide variety of wonderfully cheap and authentic Indian, Chinese and Malay hawker fare laid before my hungry eyes, it was heaps mad. I tell you, I literally experienced food coma every single day I was there. Then with all the glorious food I would happily guzzle down 13-peso teh tariks (milk tea with lemon) and 40-peso freshly-squeezed apple or lemon juice. Take it from me, a generous helping of love (and germs...hawkers are never hygienic, that's what makes the food so damn yummeh) is always served with every plate of food you buy in Malaysia. Oh and here's a Guiness record - the world's cheapest Noche Buena ever: 200 pesos for a sumptuous dinner for four.
- Batu Caves. A massive complex (kompleks in Malay) of Hindu temples in the outskirts of KL. After getting all breathless and sweaty from climbing up the 272 steps, I entered a limestone cave and witnessed a Hindu baptism. There's naughty monkeys frolicking everywhere at the caves too.
- Putrajaya. Malaysia's version of Washington DC and Canberra. An aesthetically-pleasing place with shiny and new government buildings all neatly arranged. However, I wouldn't live in Putrajaya even if my life depended on it. It's as dull and dreary as Canberra, and is too organised for my taste. Sorry but I require a huge dose of life and a friendly vibe in my neighbourhood. We went to Putra Mosque, a massive pink structure and one of the bigger mosques in Malaysia. Since I was non-Muslim I was made to wear a pink robe with a hood that covered my head. Non-Muslims are not allowed inside the mosque but the doors were wide open so we all had a good look at the interiors just the same. There was a Muslim lady who gave a highly informative talk on Islam and I was just about the only interested tourist who actually listened and asked questions. We had a good chat about the key similarities and differences of our religions, but when I started to feel like she was slowly trying to maneuver the conversation into an attempt to convert me I politely said I had to go.
- Melaka. A UNESCO World Heritage City. The place is exploding with history as well, having been previously under Portuguese, Dutch, British and Japanese rule. Melaka (Malacca) figures prominently in history as it was the much-sought after Spice Islands which all of the greedy and opportunist colonisers wanted to get their grubby hands on (I understand now why everyone wanted a piece of Melaka back in the day. Indeed, whoever controls the international spice trade rules the world, for spices are the best form of leverage one can wield. Tell people that they will be doomed to eating flavourless food for life if they don't submit and you will immediately have them wrapped around your finger). I particularly enjoyed walking up and down Jonker Street as it reminded me so much of St. Kilda - it's also full of antique and curio shops and artsy bohemian cafes. My brother and I spent around an hour at the Orangutan House where we bought quite a few of Melaka-born artist Charles Cham's eclectic hand-painted shirts. We easily spent the whole afternoon touring the city centre on foot (whilst trishaws are charming, scheming drivers tend to overcharge).
- Penang. Probably the major highlight of my trip. Penang has a famed reputation for being a foodie's paradise (and how!) what with its numerous hawkers selling the finest hawker food in Southeast Asia. George Town is a lovely city (also recently declared a UNESCO World Heritage City along with Melaka) and you could easily get around by walking. Make sure to go on a walking tour whilst in George Town so you could get a closer look at the fantastic architecture of the old Chinese and Indian structures around the city. We devoted a whole day to see Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion, Penang Museum, the Goddess of Mercy Temple, Little India, Fort Cornwallis and the Victorian Clock Tower. Pity that I only got to see the facade of Cheong Fatt Tze that day as we came too early for the 3 pm tour. People have been raving about the mansion (it received a UNESCO award for being excellently preserved) and the movie Indochine was also shot there. On the way back we decided to take a different route so we could see another side of town. The following day we headed to Kek Lok Si Temple and Penang Hill. Kek Lok Si, perched on a hill, is one of the biggest Buddhist temples in Southeast Asia. The whole complex is breathtaking, and I must've taken dozens of photos of the Buddhas with the swastikas on their chest. We took the funicular to go up to Penang Hill where the weather is nice and chilly and you get a lovely view of the rest of Penang, fog and all. As I said, this was probably my favourite leg of our trip - only slightly marred by an untoward incident at the hotel involving a rude server, but otherwise thoroughly enjoyable. I think Penang is really one of SEA's best-kept secrets, and selfish as it may sound I hope it stays that way. Btw, I just can't help but mention that there is a large senior citizen population in Penang. I have never seen so many old people concentrated per square foot in my life. And guess what, they are still employed! Maybe it's the 20-40 age group that's sitting on their idle asses at home...? Also, why is there a high incidence of leg injuries (bumps, open wounds, etc.) among the locals? Pardon me for being overly observant.
- Kinokuniya at Suria KLCC. I must've spent nearly two hours at the place marvelling at the wide array of books on politics and international relations. They've got a good collection of travel, philosophy and lit stuff as well. Definitely would've wanted to stay longer but my brothers were starving and bored. Picked up a copy of William Boyd's Brazzaville Beach.
- I really liked how the Malays, Indians and Chinese all manage to coexist relatively peacefully. So nice to see a Nasi Kandar shop next to a Chinese resto. Multicultural societies are always very interesting phenomena for me.
- My brothers and I would giggle nonstop at the signages (Push - Tolak. Bus stop - Bas hentian. Male restroom - Lelaki. Toll fee - Bayaran). It's very interesting how similar our language is to Malay. My Indonesian and Malay friends easily understand me when I speak Tagalog.
- Both Christmas and NYE were somewhat non-occasions in Malaysia, but it's seriously no biggie as I still happily spent it with family. I have to admit that I still would've given anything to have been in Sydney for the huge NYE celebration (1.5 million people! 5,000 kilos of fireworks! A 15-minute display with a "Creation" theme!) but spending the hols in Malaysia Truly Asia was not so bad really. It was a very awesome nine days actually, and would totally love to go back sometime soon. Next SEA goal: Vietnam and Laos!
**Photos to follow!
- How unbelievably cheap everything was. A decent and filling meal could be had for as low as 13 pesos, and if you are willing to spend a couple more ringgits you can have yourself a veritable feast (more on this later). I bought myself six pairs of Vincci shoes (VNC to us) for less than three grand. I upgraded my laptop (got a 320gb HDD and 2gb RAM) for less than the price of the 160gb external hard disk I bought here in Manila. Petrol is only 15 pesos a litre and only around 7 bucks for CNG. DSLR's which cost 32 grand in Manila only sell for 23,ooo. A tub of ice cream is only a little over a hundred pesos. Toll and parking fees are 26 pesos on the average. We stayed in 3 to 4-star hotels all the way and paid close to nothing. Our tour guide only spends around 200 pesos for his monthly water bill and 2,000 pesos for electricity (and his family uses airconditioners every night!). You can easily rent a 3-4 bedroom house for 7-8,000 pesos. If only for the very low cost of living, I would so move to Malaysia in a heartbeat.
- The food is indescribably GOOD (and I mean it for realz since I actually had to pause for a moment and wrack my brain for appropriate adjectives that capture the delishness of their culinary delights. Words would likely fail you when you attempt to describe the food in Malaysia - believe me, it's THAT good). I stuffed my face silly nearly everyday with roti canai (13 pesos only!), Maggi goreng (45 pesos!), nasi goreng ayam (less than 65 pesos for a massive plate!), duck rice (50 bucks! Duck has never been so cheap and divine!), char kway teow (45 pesos!), chicken satay (8 pesos a stick!), ais kacang (shaved ice with fruit and other wonderful things - 40 pesos!), Hainanese chicken rice (so cheap I don't remember how much it costs!). In every street corner there was always a wide variety of wonderfully cheap and authentic Indian, Chinese and Malay hawker fare laid before my hungry eyes, it was heaps mad. I tell you, I literally experienced food coma every single day I was there. Then with all the glorious food I would happily guzzle down 13-peso teh tariks (milk tea with lemon) and 40-peso freshly-squeezed apple or lemon juice. Take it from me, a generous helping of love (and germs...hawkers are never hygienic, that's what makes the food so damn yummeh) is always served with every plate of food you buy in Malaysia. Oh and here's a Guiness record - the world's cheapest Noche Buena ever: 200 pesos for a sumptuous dinner for four.
- Batu Caves. A massive complex (kompleks in Malay) of Hindu temples in the outskirts of KL. After getting all breathless and sweaty from climbing up the 272 steps, I entered a limestone cave and witnessed a Hindu baptism. There's naughty monkeys frolicking everywhere at the caves too.
- Putrajaya. Malaysia's version of Washington DC and Canberra. An aesthetically-pleasing place with shiny and new government buildings all neatly arranged. However, I wouldn't live in Putrajaya even if my life depended on it. It's as dull and dreary as Canberra, and is too organised for my taste. Sorry but I require a huge dose of life and a friendly vibe in my neighbourhood. We went to Putra Mosque, a massive pink structure and one of the bigger mosques in Malaysia. Since I was non-Muslim I was made to wear a pink robe with a hood that covered my head. Non-Muslims are not allowed inside the mosque but the doors were wide open so we all had a good look at the interiors just the same. There was a Muslim lady who gave a highly informative talk on Islam and I was just about the only interested tourist who actually listened and asked questions. We had a good chat about the key similarities and differences of our religions, but when I started to feel like she was slowly trying to maneuver the conversation into an attempt to convert me I politely said I had to go.
- Melaka. A UNESCO World Heritage City. The place is exploding with history as well, having been previously under Portuguese, Dutch, British and Japanese rule. Melaka (Malacca) figures prominently in history as it was the much-sought after Spice Islands which all of the greedy and opportunist colonisers wanted to get their grubby hands on (I understand now why everyone wanted a piece of Melaka back in the day. Indeed, whoever controls the international spice trade rules the world, for spices are the best form of leverage one can wield. Tell people that they will be doomed to eating flavourless food for life if they don't submit and you will immediately have them wrapped around your finger). I particularly enjoyed walking up and down Jonker Street as it reminded me so much of St. Kilda - it's also full of antique and curio shops and artsy bohemian cafes. My brother and I spent around an hour at the Orangutan House where we bought quite a few of Melaka-born artist Charles Cham's eclectic hand-painted shirts. We easily spent the whole afternoon touring the city centre on foot (whilst trishaws are charming, scheming drivers tend to overcharge).
- Penang. Probably the major highlight of my trip. Penang has a famed reputation for being a foodie's paradise (and how!) what with its numerous hawkers selling the finest hawker food in Southeast Asia. George Town is a lovely city (also recently declared a UNESCO World Heritage City along with Melaka) and you could easily get around by walking. Make sure to go on a walking tour whilst in George Town so you could get a closer look at the fantastic architecture of the old Chinese and Indian structures around the city. We devoted a whole day to see Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion, Penang Museum, the Goddess of Mercy Temple, Little India, Fort Cornwallis and the Victorian Clock Tower. Pity that I only got to see the facade of Cheong Fatt Tze that day as we came too early for the 3 pm tour. People have been raving about the mansion (it received a UNESCO award for being excellently preserved) and the movie Indochine was also shot there. On the way back we decided to take a different route so we could see another side of town. The following day we headed to Kek Lok Si Temple and Penang Hill. Kek Lok Si, perched on a hill, is one of the biggest Buddhist temples in Southeast Asia. The whole complex is breathtaking, and I must've taken dozens of photos of the Buddhas with the swastikas on their chest. We took the funicular to go up to Penang Hill where the weather is nice and chilly and you get a lovely view of the rest of Penang, fog and all. As I said, this was probably my favourite leg of our trip - only slightly marred by an untoward incident at the hotel involving a rude server, but otherwise thoroughly enjoyable. I think Penang is really one of SEA's best-kept secrets, and selfish as it may sound I hope it stays that way. Btw, I just can't help but mention that there is a large senior citizen population in Penang. I have never seen so many old people concentrated per square foot in my life. And guess what, they are still employed! Maybe it's the 20-40 age group that's sitting on their idle asses at home...? Also, why is there a high incidence of leg injuries (bumps, open wounds, etc.) among the locals? Pardon me for being overly observant.
- Kinokuniya at Suria KLCC. I must've spent nearly two hours at the place marvelling at the wide array of books on politics and international relations. They've got a good collection of travel, philosophy and lit stuff as well. Definitely would've wanted to stay longer but my brothers were starving and bored. Picked up a copy of William Boyd's Brazzaville Beach.
- I really liked how the Malays, Indians and Chinese all manage to coexist relatively peacefully. So nice to see a Nasi Kandar shop next to a Chinese resto. Multicultural societies are always very interesting phenomena for me.
- My brothers and I would giggle nonstop at the signages (Push - Tolak. Bus stop - Bas hentian. Male restroom - Lelaki. Toll fee - Bayaran). It's very interesting how similar our language is to Malay. My Indonesian and Malay friends easily understand me when I speak Tagalog.
- Both Christmas and NYE were somewhat non-occasions in Malaysia, but it's seriously no biggie as I still happily spent it with family. I have to admit that I still would've given anything to have been in Sydney for the huge NYE celebration (1.5 million people! 5,000 kilos of fireworks! A 15-minute display with a "Creation" theme!) but spending the hols in Malaysia Truly Asia was not so bad really. It was a very awesome nine days actually, and would totally love to go back sometime soon. Next SEA goal: Vietnam and Laos!
**Photos to follow!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Another end-of-the-year meme
- What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
- Used a DSLR to take photos.
- Burst into uncontrollable sobs at an airport.
- Ate a grasshopper.
- Spent an obscene amount of money to fly to another country just to watch a concert.
- Went on a week and a half trip by myself.
- Used a DSLR to take photos.
- Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Not really. NY's resolutions are increasingly getting old and pointless (like pre-planned disappointments, as someone said). - Did anyone close to you give birth?
I can't think of anyone at the moment, but some friends are expecting and will give birth later this year. - Did anyone close to you die?
My uncle passed away in September. - What countries did you visit?
Singapore, Thailand (twice in a span of four months) and Malaysia. Also spent Holy Week in Melbourne. - What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Some sense of direction would be very much appreciated. - What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory?
July 28. - What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finishing two masters degrees. - What was your biggest failure?
My inability to land a job after graduation, but then again, this is a question of terminology. I view 'failures' as 'challenges' now (or maybe I am just deluding myself about this fake paradigm shift...poser much? LOL). - Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major, except the time I nursed an almost two-week flu (caught the infamous Thai super strain virus when I was in Chiang Mai). - What was the best thing you bought?
A new laptop, Ipod docking station and DSLR. - Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Mine?! - Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
This question is not worth my time. Negative vibes are so last season. - Where did most of your money go?
Travelling. Gadgets. Rent, food and booze (during the first half of the year when I was still living in Sydney). - What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- Travelling
- The prospect of a new career (alas, plans went under. But I'm still keeping my fingers crossed this year.)
- Travelling
- What song/album will always remind you of 2008?
Off the top of my head I would say MGMT's album. And those r&b songs that get played everywhere but whose titles I don't even know. - Compared to this time last year, are you:
- happier or sadder? I was happy this time of the year last year. I am still more or less as happy now.
- thinner or fatter? Fatter! I am now a walking tub of lard.
- richer or poorer? POORER. I have come dangerously close to living in abject poverty.
- happier or sadder? I was happy this time of the year last year. I am still more or less as happy now.
- What do you wish you’d done more of?
Reading. Walking outdoors. Attending conferences. Hanging out with mates. Listening to more new music. Watching more films. Saving more money. Travelling in SEA!!! - What do you wish you’d done less of?
Aimless web surfing. Procrastinating. Over-indulging in food, alcohol and self-pity. Spending a king's ransom on unnecessary things. Wasting time on men who seemed like the shit then, but in actual fact are real pricks (funny how you only realise this once your blinders come off). - How will you be spending Christmas?
In KL with the family. - Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
I rarely talked on the phone. Most of the time I either chatted online or sent SMS. - Did you fall in love in 2008?
No, just idiotic infatuations. - How many one night stands in this last year?
None. - What was your favourite TV programme?
Flight of the Conchords. The Office. BBC News. - Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. I am too old to be harbouring hatred. - What was the best book(s) you read?
Irving Stone's The Agony and the Ecstasy. William Boyd's Any Human Heart. Half of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead. - What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Whitest Boy Alive. - What did you want and get?
Graduating from grad school with okay marks. Two jobs at uni during the first half of the year. A conference scholarship. - What did you want and not get?
A job after graduation (cue in The Smiths' Please Please Let Me Get What I Want). - What were your favourite films of this year?
I wasn't as active in movie-watching in '08 compared to '07, but I still managed to see a couple of good films -- Juno, No Country for Old Men, Darjeeling Limited, Once, Lars and the Real Girl, Lives of Others, Be Kind Rewind, Persepolis, Into the Wild. - What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 26. Had a wii and videoke party with heaps of beer and good company. - What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting a job after graduation. - How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Lazy. Comfort over style. Deceptive (to hide the figure defects). - What kept you sane?
Friends and family. The Internet. Movies and music -> truly the balm that soothes the aching soul. - Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Rob Pattinson from Twilight (hahahaha embarrassed much?). Jim Sturgess. - What political issue stirred you the most?
The Russia-Georgia conflict. The global financial crisis. US elections. Ongoing hostilities in the Gaza Strip. - Who did you miss?
My roommate and all of my family and friends in Sydney. I miss them to pieces still, every single day. - Who was the best new person you met?
Too many to list. Made quite a few friends last year from all over --Sydney, Singapore, Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Jakarta. - Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Life plans, friends and passions are not stuff that are cast in stone. Things change and people change; permanence is really a fiction. Learning to deal with change is one of the things '08 taught me. Also, '08 dispensed golden apples of wisdom on other things like the virtue of patience and the value of friends. - Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
Not a song, but the immortal opening lines of Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.
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